If your divorce is fresh, getting to the other side of what you’re feeling can feel next-to-impossible. Because every marriage and subsequent divorce is so unique, you may need personalized help (in the form of a therapist or counselor) dealing with everything. This blog is intended to serve as a general guide for starting over and embracing your new normal after your divorce is finalized.
- Give yourself time – and space – to emotionally process your divorce. You may already be acutely aware of this, but you cannot suppress the emotions you’re feeling and be mentally healthy in the long run. Whether or not your divorce came as a surprise to you, it is still a major life event; intense feelings of grief and remorse are not uncommon for divorcees. After all, you are mourning the death of your relationship. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for help processing your feelings, either.
- Reclaim your status as a single person with independent hobbies and goals. Not only does your legal status for taxes and other purposes change to “single” after your divorce, but your day-to-day life no longer revolves around your partner. This is the perfect time to learn to like – and love – yourself again. Consider what you gave up during your marriage. If you put off going back to school or picking up a new hobby, allow yourself to take up these new endeavors. Be a little selfish!
- Give proper care and concentration on your relationship with your kids. There is much more to say about being a good co-parent with your ex than can fit in this blog alone, but you do need to set aside sufficient time to figure out the logistics of being a co-parent. Beyond that, your children will need a lot of help adjusting to their new normal. Be there for your kids, let them know you’re always there for them, and reiterate that the divorce is NOT their fault.
- Don’t put yourself on any kind of deadline. The rule of thumb that many people go by when it comes to getting over relationships is that it takes half the time you were in the relationship itself to move on. So, if you were married for a year, you should hypothetically have everything dealt with in six months. Seem realistic? To many people, probably not. The truth is that the time needed to process a divorce varies wildly from person to person. Additionally, factors like infidelity, how much you were invested in the other person and making your marriage work, and whether or not divorce was your idea affect the time it takes to recover. You may not have much control over how long this process takes, but you can control how you cope with your feelings and emotions. Don’t give yourself a time limit.
Conclusion
What this blog post does not mention, as much, is the emotions and feelings spouses face during the divorce process. You need a legal team who truly understands what you’re going through while providing you with excellent representation throughout the process. McMahon Law Group would be honored to be this presence in your life. Please give us a call today at 360-893-2527 to discuss your options with us.
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